Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
