Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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