i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
did you just send me my own nude
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
