Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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