No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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