I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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