I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
