It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
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im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I stole a fireplace last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
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He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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