Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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