Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Someone shattered a urinal.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
