No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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