Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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