My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
