I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
