my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i've created a new STD.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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