like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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