I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize