need another drink. this is the easiest way
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
