You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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