I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize