Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
