Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
