On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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