the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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