So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
