just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
