He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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