Non-Jews are for practice
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
