shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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