I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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