watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is Oprah even human
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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