He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
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You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
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Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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