so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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