youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
