you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
