Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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