so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
