The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
sex in a hospital.. check
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
