I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
