Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
