scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
