he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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