there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
