i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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