another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
