I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
