Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
