those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
