They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Is Oprah even human
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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