i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The uberlube is also flammable
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
