his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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