I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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