Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
