I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
