yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
