All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
send nudes
from the living room?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
