You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm getting married
To pizza
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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