No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
