i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
