Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
it's like iHOP with fire
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
