Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
only if we run a train.
done.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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