Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
