Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
