So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
