I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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